/plaza/ - General/Random

>>3030 (OP) 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hSUBBhlVn8&ab_channel=TUNE-MusicalMoments

Just put one foot in front of the other, 
and soon you'll be walking out the doooor! 

>>3030 (OP) 
what if you didn't do it

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>>3037
it would mean letting down myself and others. and probably a lack of needed change

>>3035
thanks namefren

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I feel like a nervous wreck

>>3158
What's wrong nonners

>>3030 (OP) 
i feel this
i feel like im walking from one banal crisis to the next and its so hard to keep up the energy to solve them so i just end up putting it off and then things get worse and aagghghgghghhhhhh

>>3159
taking a stab at online dating, and the stress of having to make so many snap judgements (swipes) that could create or cut off connections based on such little information just sucks. the worst is saying no to a potential match after agonizing over it for hours or longer, and then still doubting it afterwards. maybe I made the right call, or maybe I missed out on something amazing based on a silly quibble that I would've gotten over.

I also have an event coming up that I need to prepare for, which will involve expensive purchases, travel, lodging, hanging out with near-strangers for multiple days, etc

>>3161
Gah, online dating... The scourge of every loner.
It's good that you're thoughtful about it. Online dating has become so commercialized that in order to really play the game, you have to become detached and view the other person like an item on a shelf to buy. Well, at least from your perspective, you don't have to view it as that cut and dry. At least for the people you swipe for, you can make up for it by giving them an honest chance :)
It sucks that there are no platonic friendship apps, I feel like that would be a lot more successful at beginning fruitful relationships that might build to romance rather than making it your end goal at the start.
>maybe I made the right call, or maybe I missed out on something amazing based on a silly quibble that I would've gotten over.
The universe is chaotic, Marzanon... You can't fuss over the minut details. Say that you messed up a good relationship on your end due to a few bad decisions, how do you know that error wouldn't lead you to someone even better? I think this applies to real life dating as well. To quote a movie I just watched: The past is history, the future is a mystery, and the "now" is a gift... That's why they call it the "present". You have to follow where the world takes you.

Also, good luck on your trip. I know how stressful those can be... Can I prod on what it is?

>>3162
thanks for the thoughtful response and the good luck, anon. really appreciate it. I know the world is chaotic, but I can't use that excuse to feel better about every mistake, can I? I'll try to stay hopeful, but it's scary.
>It sucks that there are no platonic friendship apps
I think some of them have "friend modes", but they're predictably much smaller. some people on the dating mode say that they're open to making friends in their profile, but it I feel like it might be a bit awkward to mix the streams like that.

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>>3163
Are you sure it's a mistake you're making? Don't be so hard on yourself.

>>3162
>Gah, online dating... The scourge of every loner.
Not really

>>3164
I'll try. sometimes people seem like a great match in several areas, so it's hard not to worry I messed up by swiping left

>>3165
t. Normalfool

>>3167
I wouldn't describe anyone who uses dating apps as a loner. Seeking the company of others certainly wouldn't describe *every* loner. The fact that you missed my point says a lot. Well done signing your own post, you're close to fitting in with all your epic loner discord friends who use dating apps.

>>3160
#real

>>3160
>>3175
hugs for anons

marzichan is my safespace.
i feel calm when i visit here.
it feels like being home, and you guys are my family 

>>3170
Yeah ok. Go back to bullying other people, jock.

I don't want to come off as taking sides, but sympathizing with OP was really easier before he conceded that his problems are related to dating.

Why delete I'm lonely thread

>>3177
You must be very kind.
>>3178
Reading this as an in-joke makes it funnier, while also slighly more mean-spirited.

>>3179
OP here - the original post had nothing to do with dating.

>>3177
that's sweet of you to say, anon. I hope we can live up to that image.

>>3181
Because I am a failure for showcasing weakness.

>>3186
don't say that, nonners. it's okay to reach out

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>>3187
It's true though. You can't deny me this as well.

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>>3188
nope, sorry. you are not a failure

>>3189
Proof?

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>>3190

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>>3191

>>3186
Failure is tolerable so long as it doesn't contradict the initial objective.

>>3206
I need to be better than what my mind allows me. I won't let it, or people like you, fuck with me anymore.

>>3210
they're just trying to say you don't have to beat yourself up for stumbling occasionally, I think

>>3211
I know how these people operate. Sorry for being combative.

>>3212
>these people
eh? I thought they were just trying to be encouraging (´･ω･`)

>>3213
They might think it's encouraging words, but it falls short. It's more adjacent to subconscious manipulation that stems from their savior complex and dogmatic beliefs. 

You might think I'm being paranoid and maybe that guy is going to chime in to call me a retard, as they all do, but it is a very real phenomenon. You just have to [Understand].

>>3214
You just haven't reached the first step of enlightenment, you'll understand it occasionally if you're smart and above all meditate on it enough. Failure means nothing if success wasn't the objective in the first place. If it was required to achieve a certain objective, but instead the action was met with failure, then you are in need of reevaluating your approach to the problem. If an adjacent movement failed, but the failure does not prevent the primary objectives from 
eventually being achieved, then it means nothing. If you aim to always succeed, you will fail most of the time, and think yourself a failure. And in a way, you will be a failure.

>>3215
>occasionally
eventually
Don't know how it happened. I'm pretty confident I was typing 'eventually'.

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>>3214
I'm trying to get it. Understanding without expression would be a new one on me, though...

Work 1 hour procrastinate 7 hours. I'm done.

>>3228
not a fan of the thread? marzichan doesn't have sage, silly :^p
anyway, 1 hour is better than none! (｡･ω･)ｂ

>>3229
I use sage with posts I wouldn't like other people to engage with, I don't know what shaped your mentality to perceive sage as a sign of hostility.

>>3230
"hostility" is probably a bit too strong of a descriptor. but I would say it's usually a negative reaction to the OP, since it deprives the thread of visibility. or did you mean that you use it when you don't want others engaging with your own post? I suppose that's understandable

>>3231
correct. i mainly use sage as a self deprecating mechanism, not as means to discourage OP

>>3232
ahhh, I see. sorry for the misunderstanding!

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*yaaaaaaaw*

>>3235
me too

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
I can't take this, honestly I'm at my limit. What the fuck am I supposed to do

>>3250
what happened

>>3252
My friend, everything happened at once and now I suffer some kind of burn out that deprives me of ability to concentrate, so I have to watch my ship sink while not being able to even give a shit about it. It's so exhausting I can't bear it. 

>>3253
i'm really sorry anon. you're not gonna be put on the streets, are you? :(

>>3254
it's not a looming thread right now and I think it shouldn't happen unless I'm very unlucky, but all in all it's not a possibility I discard completely.

>thread
threat

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>>3255
>>3256
if it's unlikely, then it might be a sign to take it easy... the stress agonizing over it might be worse than the actual perceived outcome, although that is very presumptuous of me to say given the vague context. if it's something that jeopardizes your livelihood then i'll keep you in my prayers

>>3258
Can't take it easy when I'm so inferior

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>>3253
sending luck your way, anon. try to take some deep breaths, re-center and not panic. sometimes fear is prone to outrunning the danger, and it sounds like the fear is far past the point of being a helpful force for you.
I'm sure it's rough. hope you can hang in there. take this charm

>>3261
Thanks marzinon I'll try not to die!

>>3260
You mean something to me anon, even if we've never met each other. You are a human being and you deserve forgiveness 

Relatable, Anon-san, I have been fighting mental illness as an uphill battle for some 7 years now, and it doesn't get any easier being a nasty third worlder! No healthcare - and people still think autism means extreme mental dysfunction here...


My final exams are in two weeks or so, I haven't done anything the past 2 months besides lift weights and listen to music, and I took am so tired....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nv11dYMsXQ&pp=ygUSRnVnYXppbmltIHNvIHRpcmVk speaking of listening to music, they made a song for us!

>>3277
Marzinon it's so relatable that I am speechless. It's like trying to batter down a wall with bare hands.

Don't let the gangstalkers decourage you

>>3277
>>3278
ganbare anons-san!

>>3278
I know, right? It's impossible to do anything! the bigger problem is the off-shoot disorders, a 7-year bout with mental illness ends up also becoming OCD, Anxiety disorder, body dysphoria, and just generally feeling all sorts of jealous loser feelings, I am creative, I'd like to think myself dependable and compassionate, but all I am as a human is completely reduced to atoms if I can't become anything, so you become like me, isolated, friendless, shaky relation with family, simply biding your time and hoping you don't end up as a NEET or hikky.

I believe in God, but sometimes I feel like he's put me on this world just to fuck with me, and he won't answer my prayers, I just want to be normal, damnit! I want to do something as basic as wake up in the morning or study or eat a meal without dysfunction creeping up >:(

>>3283
Arigatou!!

>>3285
I get the impression that dissatisfaction with social isolation is your primary issue

>>3288
It is an issue, for sure, it doesn't help that I can't form any relationships, but it definitely isn't my primary issue - my primary issue is with myself, I'm honestly fine with being lonely if it means I can put myself to some sort of work and forget about everything else, if there's anything I wish for in this world it's to experience what some might call "hyperfocus" some day.

tried half a cap of ritalin a couple of days ago
it made me so calm and boring, and almost stoned (?not a druggy). like the feeling you get when youre 30+ hours into staying awake. it felt like there wasn't as much anxiety either.

>>3303
You're making me want to try Ritalin even more than I usually want to... I am sad I don't have a prescription


That specific feeling of being awake for 30+ hours at some point becomes bliss for me, I can finally focus, I feel free 

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DISSOLVABLE CONSCIOUSNESS LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hate having anger issues
I can control them just fine but internally, I really just want to snap an animal's leg in half. I just want peace and quiet.

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>>3352
>I can control them just fine 
Nevermind just had another outburst

>>3353
>>3352
oh anon :(

>>3354
Sorry for clogging this thread with mental illness. I just need an outlet.

>>3355
it's no clog, anon. this is basically a venting thread as it stands. if it can make you feel even slightly better, I'd say that's a win

every modern imageboard has a venting thread! or i'm just lucky to visit every one that does. to think of it, there isn't one on hikarin chan hmmmmmm

>>3353
where did you take this video from

>>3363
4chan's /gif/ I think

>>3355
We stand with you.

why do i feel so rushed and anxious when i don't even have a job
i can't enjoy anything because i feel like i have to get it done as fast as possible

>>3373
hmm, that sounds rough anon
maybe you could try setting modest goals each day, and once you achieve those goals, you can conceptualize the activity as "done" for the day, so there wouldn't be a perceived need to rush anymore.

and if that worked and you got used to it, you would probably adapt and be able to take things slower even before clearing your daily goals, since you would understand that you have plenty of time to work with.

it's gonna hurt marzinons
but i don't fear
i lost sanity
so it doesn't matter
i only wish there was someplace
just one
but there is none
not for the children of [xxx]
only hell
only suffering
i did not even know
did not intend
it just happens on its own

daaaaaaaaamn. i wish there was sage or something, when i get in this mood i tend to produce considerable amounts of not really comprehensible text, i don't want to bother anyone here, but i've nowhere to go either so it's a a nasty situation. perhaps you should remove me to force me go onward, i don't know.

>>3381
it's okay anon, I don't think you're bothering people much. I am definitely considering adding sage though, at least for a trial period.

sorry things are hurting for you right now

>>3386
thanks marzimin. it's kinda cool people still carry the torch. sometimes when i visit vanished imageboards i get pangs of pain, because they'll never come back and with them i lost a piece of what felt like home

>i visit vanished imageboards
well i meant visiting the "Hmm. We’re having trouble finding that site." page.

yaps muchly

braps muchly

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Having a raging narcissist in my immediate family is so draining. They treat everyone like shit, then start throwing a tantrum, slamming doors and pans, playing the victim when they receive any pushback. They're incapable of having a calm discussion and just try to shout over everyone else. Even when they shut their damn craw for a moment, it doesn't seem like they comprehend 70% of what's being said to them. Endless excuses for their behavior, usually falling back on morbidly exaggerated stress from work. Even if their work were that horrible, I don't see how making everyone at home miserable for an evening helps anything. All over someone else receiving a larger slice of cake than the narcissist would've liked, by the way. I don't even live with this person anymore and I still regularly witness their petty outbursts. It's a little surprising the cops have never been called on them.

blep

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I hate feeling tired and unhappy without a clear reason on what should probably be a pleasant day 

I need to go in the deep sleep space

>>3543
This. Also can't sleep. This is terrible.

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trying to do this

I don't know if I'm strong enough to be my idealized self

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一喜一憂

>>3579
I have the opposite issue, I want to live for just one second without nearly passing out

During depression I'd do 15 hours straight of the worst most low-quality sleep ever 

>>3684
>I have the opposite issue, I want to live for just one second without nearly passing out
It's not really opposite because since I don't get to sleep well, I spend something like 15-16 hours a day in a dormant state, during which my brain doesn't execute anything useful. The remaining 8 hours...? I don't even remember. I'm not sure I use them for anything useful

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I need supersleep

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I can't seem to figure out how to wake up when I need to. Even when I sleep super early and set a bunch of alarms, I sleep right through them and wake up three or four hours later than I need to, and then I don't have the time to do everything I want to do. Truly, there is always too much to do. I need to manage my expectations. Weh.

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>>3807
I need superhug

tried to nap for 1hr this evening, but ended up waking after 6.
now it's the middle of the night and noone is here, but their cars are, and noone is online either.
it's spooky...

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>>3846
aw. at least we're here, anon!

tried to open marzichan.org this morning and had timeout. And I wondered what if marzichan be offline suddenly one day, where should we continue threads? 

>>3850
>tried to open marzichan.org this morning and had timeout.
oh no! I wonder why
>And I wondered what if marzichan be offline suddenly one day, where should we continue threads?
well, hopefully if the site ever goes down unexpectedly, I could have a notice up within a week at most. even if the site had to go down for some period of time, I'd hate to do it without informing people! it's sad how many imageboards just suddenly vanish without warning.
wapchan links to us, so maybe that could be a place to regroup in a worst case scenario?

>>3853
>wapchan links to us, so maybe that could be a place to regroup in a worst case scenario?
they host a /kind/ board, correct? we could always make a containment thread there 

don't die marzimin. your effort is strongly appreciated

>>3857
>>3857
thank you!! no plans to die anytime soon (｡>ω･)b
I've been hammering away at the site overhaul these recent weeks

sleepy

https://youtube.com/watch?v=luyDmElLsn4

>>3908

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>>3909

felt like i was too engrossed in my latest hyperfixation and hadnt checked marzi in a day or two and 
suddenly its flipping DEAD
GONE
DEAD AND GONE
FOREVER

glad youre back marzi

>>3936
(｡･ω･)b
it was a stroke of bad luck, but it looks like we got through it without a scratch. fingers crossed I don't discover any corrupt data later (^^;)
back to work on the overhaul!!

During my walk, I went to Dunkin's and ordered a corn muffin alongside my breakfast sandwich. Unfortunately, when I made it to my front door, I noticed the bag containing my muffin was gone. Must've dropped it along the way without noticing. Such is life I suppose.

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been rather stressed/anxious the past few days and haven't really done much as a result. here's to hoping for a positive change

>>3937
>(｡･ω･)b
oh yeah buster!?
(｡･ω･)p
only negativity allowed in this thread

chestr bennington didn't ** himself

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>>3856
Op of shrek thread here.
Doesn't sound like a bad idea. I also got 4444 get on /kind/

>>3812
*big superhug for nonny*

just trying to keep it together and do what I must for a little while

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>>4015

some cyberpunky stranger mysteries goin on Marzmin?

A Girl with Marzipann Tattoo.

did (e)u guys sign stop killing games petition?

>>4055
Marzichan is American colonized.

<a onclick="highlightReply('4055', event);" href="/plaza/thread/3030.html#4055">&gt;&gt;4055</a><br/>nope because i'm not a resident of europe besides i don't really care about gachas. if you're unhappy about shitty games stop fucking playing them, bu no your game addiction has the better of you. i wish you instead spent time searching legal means to make corporations fuck off my linux ecosystem

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>he thinks i care about video games when im actually just a piratesoftware hater

>>4058
/v/arzichan... (derogatory)

>>4055
I did!

>>4058
I hope that loser stubs his toe in Minecraft

>>4055
Modern service and online-only games aren't worth archiving, I hope the industry collapses

>to make corporations fuck off my linux ecosystem
not gonna happen in a lifetime
I've heard bsd in new linux

>>4057
french police rolled own custom linux distribution and moved to it. Happy?

>>4082
>in
*is

>>4055
And 1 million signatures reached!

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>>3988
I guess i got /djn/ 2000 too

>>4057
your wish may just stay a wish.
if you don't do it yourself, no one will do it for you. don't just expect people to do things because you wish. 
FLOSS community been spoiled expecting some one else will just make good things happen to/for them.
take responsability.
how much you contributed or donated to Debian in 2024? Because other distros don't matter litterally.
I doubt you did. 

>>4107
Debian is one of the worst offenders and has been owner by redhat since transition to systemd. I will not donate to it for any reason.

i should kill myself.

>>4167
don't say that anon :^<

>>4167
don't do that 

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what's name of this character ???
is she same as on banner ?

>>4168
>>4169
sorry...! i won't. just having a nasty no good rotten day

>>4170
I think that's lambdadelta from umineko

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>>4171
hang in there nonny! this day will soon pass

>>4170
Please ChatGTP for this sar he can read images now thankyou

>>4210
N0thanky!ou, ChatAGP.
it does require paid subsription account for that. and javascrypt :< 

I haven't seen umineko. And I don't want. But I always seeing their characters pushed on chans.
I forced myself to watch higurashi when it was ongoing. Pretty weak, poor, boring, ugly, cruel anime. Some people say the vn is more important, but it's so poorly drawn.

Is Lambdadelta something like Alice Margrartroid with fumo? 

I've tried to lurk, but yt just gives 5 seconds long short stupid memes that explain nothing. 

>>4212
>I forced myself to watch higurashi when it was ongoing. Pretty weak, poor, boring, ugly, cruel anime. 
Never watched it but that seems about right. Anime adaptations of VNs are almost universally inferior, at times ruining the legacy of the source material 
>Some people say the vn is more important, but it's so poorly drawn.
But it's soul D:
There are releases with updated, more conventionally appealing art though. 

>>4210
Megidochan misses you, saar.

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My job is at once confusing, emotionally taxing, and boring.

I work with the living relatives of the dying or dead. Its a sensitive topic and none of my coworkers are giving me enough guidance. Almost none of our customers smile, and if they do, its a forced one. Everyones upset.

A woman called and said her husband had died and she needed our services. I said that I was sorry. She just sighed and asked for a time for an appointment. She sounded so tired. I felt so bad for saying Im sorry.

I want to get past this hump where I can't find my ass with a rope and I know what I'm doing, but I'm really not looking forward to the long, long series of little mistakes it's going to take there.

>>4223
that sounds real rough, anon. I can't imagine having to do that every day. but at least there are lots of other people working similar jobs, like those who work in funeral services. maybe you can ask/search online and see if you can find their approach helpful in forming your own. I'm sure it's different to actually internalize it and distance yourself emotionally, though.


that woman probably sighed because they're going through a lot, and I'm sure they know you only meant the best, so try not to let it make you feel bad.

>>3161
>>3162
I'm pretty sure that the dating app doesn't want you to succeed — that's not profitable. I think you might have better chances if you meet people IRL (in a bar or smth)

>>3808
I had a similar problem, though only occasionally. In my case the problem was in lighting. Smart lamp with configurable color temperature & strategic placement of curtains helped me tremendously. Turns out it's much easier to fall asleep if the lighting is very dim & warm! I felt so stupid after figuring it out…

I like going to bed when I actually intend to then just rolling around for several hours and being tired the next day anyway.

>>4524
hang in there anon

stomachache out of blue why marzinons it's totally unfair

it's happening again marzinon. i've so little time. aaaaaaa. calmly breathe calmly breathe. i am calm. but it's happening again. calm. calm. calm. calm. calm. calm

>>4534
>>4608
ow ow ow
stomachaches, stop attacking marzinon!!!

>>4615
>>4608
and help this one calm down please (＞人＜;)
peace for all on this friday

having an awful no good rotten terrible morning right now

>>4617
I'm sorry zinon :(
wish I could give you a hug

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>>4618
i feel better after my girlfriend cheered me up and i talked to her what was on my mind. i feel good right now :)

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>>4619
yippee!

https://youtu.be/T81mvMy8XJw

>>3030 (OP) 
i think everyone's tired in this day and age. it is the end of history after all

>>4657
this song is so pretty <3

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it feels so bad to overstep and accidentally annoy or upset a friend. easily ruins a good mood

grahhhh!

Aaaaaauuuuughhhhhhh!

all my erinpo art of caltrops trainin is payin off

>>4677
Been there many times and then I get butthurt and make it worse. I've accepted that I'm too obnoxious for friendship.

>>4873
ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hi

>>4923
hi anon
sunday scaries?

>>4924
woke too early :(

I don't want to go to work I want to sleeeeeeeep :(

I had a spooky dream. I was in some setting like Red Dead Redemption's zombie DLC but in real life. Was trying to protect a small settlement from a huge horde of sprinting zombies. I killed many by just swinging a claymore around like a helicopter. I got knocked down and bitten all over (which actually hurt pretty badly) but I still spun the sword above my head to try to kill the zombies. Eventually they stopped coming. I think only two other people survived. One of them shot me on the forehead with a lever action since I was going to turn and then I woke up.

I played Darktide and watched some stuff about zombies before bed.

my siblings are prompting AI to talk shit about me now. i am going to spank them extra hard next time they are out of line. little resentful goblins...

>>5027
Wtf that's kind of evil- the siblings that is.

>>5027
that's mean of them, but you shouldn't spank them anon :(

I just shaved off 3 weeks worth of untrimmed beard and I look about 10 years younger. It's crazy how quickly your mind will adapt to something new. This is the longest I've ever gone without shaving.
Also I feel cold now lol

feeling all twisted up today

>>5036
that's nice. I really should be shaving more often because I look bad with what little hair I can grow, but I often end up hitting the snooze button until it's too late to shave before work

>>5034
>>5035
i was in a very dark place when i saw their insults and subsequently complained. i won't spank them, extra hard or otherwise. just wish they knew how much the AI message hurt me. it didn't feel generic so i felt more violated like they mentioned very personal details about me to generate it.

nons I'm feeling fuckin WIRED
it's gonna be an anxious week I think
>>5038
what are the characters from? I don't recognize them

>>5042
https://parahumans.wordpress.com/

my tummy hurts

sober: I'm in a really nasty drug binge. Maybe I should really stop for a while.
high: nevermind i can make this work

>>5131
hang in there nonny :(

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>>5133

>>5135
wishing you health, happiness, and resilience in your endeavors

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>>5136

I wish there wasn't so much vitriol in my heart, even when I try to be nice. I want to inflict my turmoil onto others.

I want to kill i want to kill i twant to tkill i wantinto tkill i want it tot krtnnmmrmrm

Goodbye

>>5403
>>5404
>>5405
zinon you're scaring me :(

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>>5403
maybe the vitriol will fade away when your turmoil has lessened

>>5404
*hugs u*

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bored and dont know where to post

found a thread i wanted to post in on another chan and then saw it was made 2011 so the op is probably dead
he may as well be dead,. ill never get to talk with him about his thread in the mind he had when he first made it. when i first discovered it, 30 minutes ago

>>5423
reading old stuff can leave you with that sense of melancholy, yeah. like reading messages between you and a friend from a decade ago
hugs for you

>>5423
Link to this? I am intrigued. I come across the same feeling as well when I comb through abandoned registration forums.

so tired, I don't wanna work today. need more sleep

>>5436
*injects cyanide into you* hehe :3

>>5437
UGYAAAAAA zzzzzzzzzzzzz

dreamt there was a website called MarziDchan
and the D stood for digital

what a ripoff

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I do hope you went long when Marzichan ported to JSchan

>>5523
the lifting power of marzichan 📈

I might meet up with an old friend in a few days. I wish it didn't inflict so much anxiety on me.

>>5527
I went through the same thing a little while ago, but it ended up going really well overall. even if it ends up being a little awkward, I think people know that might be a possibility when meeting an old friend, so you should be on the same wavelength. hope you have a nice time

>>5528
I guess so, yeah. This is the first time I'm seeing them in person so you never really know if it'll be awkward as hell, you know? I also have a very complicated history with them... It feels like old wounds are opening up. Dreadful.

>>5529
hugs for zinon
if it goes poorly you can always distance yourself a bit afterwards, so I hope you don't feel like you're drifting uncontrollably into something you don't want

>>5527
Oh god, we're making plans for dinner tomorrow. Save me friends

>>5646
you've got this! hope you get to eat something tasy :3

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I ran out of weed

>>5656
You were in weed? And running got you out?

>>5657
watch out for wild pokemon in the tall grass! I always wear repel when going for a walk. isn't technology amazing?

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>>5658
picrel when im just trying to move between towns and hitting a wild encounter with a level 8 whatsitcalled before i unlocky the fly technique

keep dreaming of some guy i only just met and didn't even talk to much. up to 5 dreams in a row now

i went crazy ww again

>>5668
I'm just trying to keep it together myself

I really don't feel well.

>>5670
So anxious tonight! It's ripping me up

>>5664
what do they do in the dreams? something different every time?
I remember once years ago I had a dream where I was dating an acquaintance, like a friend of a friend who I didn't see much and only rarely talked with. it was a weird experience, I'd never thought of them that way and its oddness lingered for a couple days

>>5672
in ancient greece, some people considered dreams of romance/intimacy involving people you're not particularly interested to be omens
i don't remember what particular situations meant what particular destinies, though

I woke up to having unclean water it tastes like the fucking baltic sea fucking disgusting! Good thing I had only made coffee before finding out.

>>5675
That reminds me of the people staying in a hotel complaining about water having a strange odor and some woman's body was found in the tank.

>>5676
brütal

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i had 3 days to do this video assessment thing for a job application and this was the 3rd day but instead i spent it all lying on the floor or napping in bed
oops.

>>5678
oh no, is there still time? :(

>>5676 Nonny you replied to here:
Last time we had a bacterial outbreak in the water supply it was because of a carcass. I drank the water without noticing and only found out about it the next day...

>>5701
jesus D:

>>5676
YIIKhead spotted

>>5679
no...

>>5701
icky, sorry to hear that
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Elisa_Lam

>>5707
sorry things are hard right now
hang in there <3

One day I will have my comfort !

>>5709 Lole, during the carcass water situation I hadn't drunk anything for a day and the evening was the first time I had a chance to drink so I was extra thirsty. The water as of now is clean since last night and I also want to clarify that it was probably not bacteria this time.
I've heard of Lam's death but never that her death was so heavily parodied in media, thanks for the link.

>>5709
>Massive pop culture section 
Gross.

>>5716
I don't know, is it all that wrong for a bizarre or horrific incident to leave a big cultural footprint? it's understandable to give the event some breathing time, for the sake of the victims' families and whatnot, but would you feel that it's in equally poor taste to make media inspired by, say, the donner party? art draws on life

I really wish I had answers

I feel bad when I see saged posts...

i really hate being interested in hearing what someone knows and then being made to realize that i was bothering them by asking too many questions. or when i think i'm joking around with someone to learn they were actually annoyed or upset and what i thought was banter was actually meant to be insulting to get me to stop. i don't get angry at the person for expressing irritation, just sad that i am too dumb to pick up on social cues.

>>5722
My defense mechanism is trying to make the other person feel like an asshole for not being more clear. It's probably not healthy, but it works sometimes, and I feel like I'm doing my part for the next awkward nerd that they talk to.

>>5721
sorry
>>5722
I can relate to this fear

I'm seriously terrified

>>5727
SERIOUSLY

 ive been abusing alcohol and stims to try conversing in a groupchat, even though i only say a few words max.
 after a few days it nukes me and i cant feel happy any more
so i take a day rest, and now i feel ok again 

normal peoples power levels are insane compared to mine

>>5721
erm, theyre called nobumps actually

>>5726
Noooooo don't be sorry, sage to your heart's content

>>5731
just trying to be considerate about my venting, but maybe you have the right idea

>>5729
jeez, I understand what it's like to feel socially limited compared to the people around you, but you should take care of yourself zinon :(

>>5732
Vent all you like <3

>>5721
That'd be like feeling bad if your mailperson didn't knock. Exposure therapy

>>5735
I think a willing participant in a small community is a bit different than someone just doing their job and handing out mail :^p
maybe they feel bad because they're trying to be friendly but the posters are hiding instead

Got the shakes. Partially from a hangover and partially from rage about having to deal with a perpetually miserable family member.

Is this is marzichan general or an like merely a vent thread?
Either way, I made a good pizz with homegrown tomatoes and basil, but the bottom turned out all sweaty (parchment paper method)

>>5775
I took it as a venting thread. The whole board is the general!

>>5775
kino za
cringe sweaty

>>5775
yeah this is just a vent thread really
>but the bottom turned out all sweaty (parchment paper method)
what's your oven setup like? I haven't had issues with sogginess even when using parchment paper, though I do move the pie off the parchment and onto a rack immediately after baking

the charlie kirk video was pretty upsetting

>>5780
>Racked
Ah, right. I moved it onto standard wooden cutting board, which gave it time to steam up, probably. Also, I did use a pizza stone, but maybe it didn't get hot enough beforehand

>>5835
I see why my dad thought it was a hit now

>>5835
yeah, it's quite graphic...

>>5836
>which gave it time to steam up, probably
mm, yeah, I'd definitely consider buying a wire rack to try it out. it can make a big difference.
pizza stones usually take 30-60 min to preheat, if you think the bottom might've been underdone to begin with. both easy adjustments to try out though!

>>5836
A hit as in he enjoyed it? Sent the video to my brother who considers himself to be a leftist and he seemed pleased.

>>5842
Nah like a pro level hitjob. I kinda agree since an ideologically aggrieved rando would probably need a couple tries and nick a least one bystander

>>5847
Ah, okay. I would have guessed the shooter was just ideologically motivated and had practiced a lot at the range, but the world is full of so much craziness that there certainly could be something more to the shooting.

feeling like fading into nothingness wouldnt be such a bad thing at the moment

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watching charlie kirks funeral

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saw marzichan in this webm from 4/wsg/

>>5968
the people shall know... that marzichan was here

hit styro

>>6041
please don't hurt yourself :(

>>6043
its fine

>>6043
that's not how you take care of a self harmer. You ask what troubles their heart, whether they feel lonely or seen, express empathy and care, scold them for hurting themselves, force them to promise never to do it again and come talk to you instead, gift them a painting, get blocked because you didn't reply in your sleep, then get added back two days later, get scolded, then get lovebombed, get hornied on, get ghosted, get added again, rinse repeat until either one of you permanently cuts the contact in some way, eventually wonder whether it was one side's fault (its not) or whether human connection is just about endless power dynamics of trying to choke one another into complete submission until something breaks (it is) and if there exist any such thing as "a healthy relationship" (only the boring ones) or if it's all the same theater we play endlessly with new flesh sacks until the end of time

then again. this is not discord and 𝘐 don't have the time to play so, personally

>>6045
I was agreeing with you until I reached about halfway into your posts. I'll pray you'll be free on your demons my friend

>>6046
of your demons*, late night

>>6045
>that's not how you take care of a self harmer.
well, I felt it might be a bit much to suddenly ask them to explain everything they're going through to me, and might come off as annoyingly cliche/naive to someone who's going through a lot. so I kept it to a sympathetic plea.

sorry you've been through all that before. I disagree with your assessment of human connection, but maybe that means I'm just "boring"

>>6048
Not to be an asshole but they sound like they've had their heart broken by a crazy partner. Just don't stick your dick in crazy bro, bail on that shit.

>>6048
>>6049
my heart is intact thank you very much for the care. I don't personally think the girl is at blame, over time I've come to realize that I have the tendency to sabotage things and become abusive myself, unless I'm the one being treated like shit, which seems to keep me interested indefinitely compared to being treated "like a decent human being" so I've come to accept my seemingly masochistic nature rather than to endlessly move on and "try finding the right person" which, ironically enough, is considerably stable. Though I should probably keep my mouth shut by now...

>>6050
Go on if you'd want, we are anonymous after all

>>6051
well I've been writing for about 40 minutes now and I don't quite feel like dropping a multi paragraph autistic essay about my take on the human psychology.

I just noticed that I have a tendency to impress girls, get bored of them being impressed (especially moreso if it happens far too early on), get bored, demand change and growth, get abusive, leave, etc. This happened around the earlier ages of about 20, at first I thought I was just being a mindlessly bad person, so I started leaning the complete other direction, thinking I wanted to be a "good person." Then I noticed the consistent shift in the positions that I've gone from abuser to abused, which in honesty, I realized I do somewhat enjoy, despite that, being treated like shit, does feel like shit in the moment, but when I'm not regularly treated like shit, then I don't enjoy anything at all. This was also compounded by the fact that I despise bearing the conscience of feeling like 𝘐 caused permanent damage to someone else, for which I tried a lot not to drag people into things. The last few relationships I've had fizzled out with either side getting spoiled, bored, and then leaving, which especially fucking sucks even if you're socially apt, because you can't just approach a random person every time the last thing got boring and not feel corny in yourself doing the same tired acts of courting over and over and over as you do with every single person. So I started approaching people that seem completely out of reach, be very upfront about things that they should NOT treat me with decency, which, tend to cause the opposite effect more often than not, because the other person gets horny about the idea of doing the thing they're asked not to do, they do it, then you fuck, then it's dead. I figured I'd rather not get married to a dull cashier with no interest in the things I have interests in and have myself become some kind of lowly financial extraction machine (as goes for the married man nowadays), and noticed that I seem to be happiest in the prospect of "the chase" more than the pains of actually being in a relationship when you can't even reliably be abused, so I decided to settle for the stability of yearning for someone completely out of reach as to give myself enough stability to work on getting my life-goal projects done without meddling the human pettiness back and forths. 

I dunno. probably the healthiest choice if you wanna build a legacy of *some* sorts. if you just wanna enjoy hot hot sex then it's always gonna be endless games of push and pull and fucking each other up. Or if you happen to be part of the "normal people" then it's kinda, what? fuck every saturday, work a 9 to 5, things like that? not very up my alley personally

>>6051
>>6052
ah well, "someone completely out of reach" because the final state of "I'm not gonna dabble in weird power games and theatrics to get you jealous and craving again" is, more or less, getting ignored with intervals of abuse and decency 𝘪𝘧 they feel bored enough on any given day, so.

My nerves are shot. Goddamn stubborn narcissistic idiot nearly got the entire family in a car crash while randomly daydreaming at the wheel and I would've faced the brunt of the impact if it weren't for the other driver being diligent. Piece of shit thinks I'm unreasonable for being upset about it too. Couldn't enjoy the meal with my family. Been in a bad place mentally for awhile now and today certainly didn't help that.

>>6225
that sounds horrible, I feel for you :(
maybe try and hole up with some comforts and just recover for a few days if you can
sending soothe beam

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Feel quite low today.
I don't consume as much as others. I don't produce as much as others. I don't socialize as much as others.
Perhaps I am just bad at living. I feel shame for being this way.
Is something wrong with me that makes me so bad at things? As much as I do have aspirations and desires, I wish I didn't have to exist and deal with my badness. I am so inadequate, and having to bear witness to it without any real escape is a kind of torment.

>>6228
Living slowly is fine... Don't treat creation (or enjoying things) like a LIFEMAX GRINDSET ー ω ー

watch me rip my arms and legs off

poison.ogg

some days a good long hug would be awesome

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>>6272
i c u

>>6274
thanks nonner <3

I went outside today
if you can believe it...

feeling defeated

>>6337
did you see any cool bugs

Quiet friends... I hope everyone is doing fine today

>>6339
only man made horrors beyond my imagination (but not really tho(nor did I see any cool bugs))

been talking with my brother who has seemingly developed a whole lot this past year. very interesting. I always had figured him to be a dumbass (he was (I too, though)) but for the first time in my life we have come to agree on a lot of things. 

He seems to have read a lot of philosophy this past year (which is relatively cringe(real men lose their sanity and come to the same conclusions without hearing it secondhand)) and has developed an on-par understanding of the human condition. Which is very nice that I don't actually feel that alien to someone, unusually enough.

>>6339
wait why are YOU feeling defeated anyways?

>>6356
feeling insecure, ugly, tired, ashamed of personal failings

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>>6359
Get some gosh dang diddly doo good night's rest and do better t'morrow, SON!

I'd like to dream of a sweet world

I will sleep forever in a big warm soft cocoon

>>6375
that's what the bee larvae inside my drywall said too. I scraped them with a metal spoon and sprayed the area with deodorant instead so the next of their kin would stop coming. they didn't. I slaughtered nearly 50 bees this year. Though they did stop coming as much by now so.

>>6376
scary. when I was a kid, for a little while we had a wasp problem in our walls.
you need not bring out your scraping silverware, though. I will remain inside my cozy little blanket, my body disassembling until all which remains is its newly spun silk coffin.

>>6382
you fucking wish, loser. no coffin for you. you remain amogst the living flesh nonethless. for which. wish I could give you a hug instead. would serve you better than a """cocoon""" which you don't need, anyways. just need to be treated gently 😊

typos typos. sue me, whatever. every pebble counts, a million breaks a wall. that's all that matters

>>6385
amogus

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>>3030 (OP) 

>>3030 (OP) 
I really do like marzichan and its people I don't care who calls it dead tbh

dog died suddenly
sad
the vet knew immediately what it was and said it was already too late
tumors on the spleen had burst
she was drunk with a lack of oxygen in the blood or something
its good it was so sudden i guess, she was happy and playing a few hours earlier

>>6443
Condolences... age?
I'm still carrying guilt for how long my last cat suffered at the end due to dithering, so at least she was spared that

>>6443
Losing a pet is terrible. I'm so sorry anon. Were you close to her or was it a family dog?

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graduated from cutting legs to cutting arms today lets goooooo

>>6447
pics
catbox if marzi will freak

>>6447
please don't keep hurting yourself :(

>>6451
I know that on some imageboards, things like catbox links are allowed, but if it's content that would break the rules, please don't post links to it here.
maybe there's some valid gray area to be discussed, but directly linking to a file that breaks the rules (and doing so solely to skirt rules) would generally still warrant moderation.

>>6447
Don't cut. Don't do self harm.

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>>6452
>>6454
sometimes my brain gets really loud with like a billion anxieties and paranoias and nightmare situations and im struggling to control my emotions over stuff too and the only way i can quiet it down is by hurting myself. it also feels like i get to punish my brain for being an asshole to me. we have something of an adversarial relationship.

>>6459
Imagine a wide expanse with pink wojak screaming, crying blood, going "WHY ME WHY ME WHY ME" as he he shrinks smaller and smaller into the horizon

>>6459
I used to do it too as a "scratch reminder" of "the mistakes I made" and "the people who wronged me" but at some point I tore through enough tissue that I could see the bulging muscles and veins on the inside and it made me go "Wow okay I might've actually died from this if it was half an inch deeper. Is this really a useful thing? Maybe it's better that I lash out or at least do literally anything else with these emotions instead. I don't think I'd be happy if I accidentally killed myself doing this." and I stopped ever since.

If something troubles your mind, share THAT with people instead zinon. No one's gonna be mean to you because you wanted to talk about how bad your day was :) That's the whole point of this thread anyways, right?

>>6465
like halfd to three quarters of my reasons for hurting myself stem from bpd type stuff and no one has any sympathy for that kinda stuff so its pointless to talk abt rlly.
i guess recently i also moved back in with my parents at 25 yrs old which feels very humiliating and makes me feel like im going backwards in life and also its in the middle of nowhere so it makes me feel incredibly isolated and lonely.
>>6463
i think this would make me feel worse.

>>6453
no fun allowed

>>6467
>"nooooooo why can't I post self gore!"

Coworkers took a group photo at work today and I look so ugly in it. Ugh

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>>6466
I hope you find a little solace posting with us, zinon.

>>6469
Like horrible
Wish they would've let me take the picture or something
I hope others don't see me like that
What a gross thought

My brain is so loud right now. I'm not ready to walk back into real life. Fuck. Fuuuuck. My heart is pounding and it heuts.

Not doing so great lately, maybe I can have a sweet dream tonight and escape for a short while.

>>6475
Hope you feel better soon <3

>>6470
👀 what a nice looking image there...

>>6468
be calm

>>6469
this is a fking nightmare
school today too. every awkward moment saved forever. i dont envy the youth.

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>>6477
just wwoke up
still full of anxiety but as long I'm not lazy today, it'll be ok
happy halloween marzichan

Trying to just ignore the problems I can't seem to fix

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>>6507
that's what stoicism says I think

just remembered a time a friend yelled at me over the way I was acting about something (they were justified). ugh, feels terrible. it was years ago and long buried

>>6513
meant to no-bump, oopsie

sometimes life hits you like a bag of hammers... even if you felt you were in the right beforehand and still do after the fact. i wish the easiest way out of this feeling didnt hurt so much.

I will sleep forever in the slumber blanket pillowland

>>6556
sounds like you're doing the best you can. hugs for zinon, hope it gets better

>talk about my problems with gf after keeping it bubbled in for about a week
>stop feeling like shit
Wtf?