/plaza/ - General/Random

Iktf
They will never be in my arms

I'm lucky enough to have never fallen for someone online, I guess. I'd like to think I wouldn't let myself get into a hopeless LDR like that, but honestly I just don't think I've ever had a strong connection like that with someone online, so maybe it's just cope on my part

>>397
god it feels so fucking horrible
i want to be in her arms so fucking much but it'll almost certainly never happen
i want to tell myself it will and can though
>>398
every fucking time i've fallen with someone its been over immense distance.. i dont see why the fuck i cant just look for people near me..
in the past i have even met up with the ppl a bunch but then its ended up falling apart..
with this person I have in mind it feels less likely I will ever meet them tho, and yet they feel like the one i've felt the most strongly about. I know that's bullshit that we always tell ourselves like "oh THIS time they're the one. for REAL this time" but I can't stop myself from feeling that way.

>>400
I'm really sorry, anon.
is it mutual, or have you not even told them because of how bad you already feel about the distance?

>>401
i'm not really sure. we talk like everyday and we both have talked about how we would like to see eachother one day but i'm not sure that she thinks about me as more than a friend?
its really hard to tell with her. sometimes things feel like they get a little flirtatious but then other times it feels like she isn't responsive to stuff like that.
anytime we send selfies to eachother im always telling her that she's really pretty (bc she is), but i never seem to get compliments with mine.
I don't really want to say anything because like.. 1. what can we even do? and 2. i really care about her a lot and i would hate to lose her as a friend

>>402
>anytime we send selfies to eachother im always telling her that she's really pretty (bc she is), but i never seem to get compliments with mine.
oh nonny... that's heartbreaking :(
I don't know you so I guess there's not much I can do but offer platitudes, but I hope that soon you can find someone close to you <3

I haven't been in a relationship for years, and in that time I haven't fallen for a single person. not because of hang-ups from the previous relationship or anything, just because I haven't gotten to know anyone like that, so I have nobody to fall for. it's far less turbulent than the emotional stress of long-distance or unrequited love, I suppose, but it eats at me in its own way

>>403
im not sure if maybe she is just super autistic or what. her responses to mine is usually to compare me to some obscure character from some random story/game.
and its okay im just venting since i cant really do it elsewhere because we use like all the same spaces...
and i can see how ur situation would really eat at you :( it sounds painful. its really fucking hard to like. get to know people nowadays so i understand. we're all so isolated. i hope you can find someone someday.

>>400
>i dont see why the fuck i cant just look for people near me
Maybe there isn't anyone near you.

>>407
there probably is but i never try to look for people near me really...
i just through coincidence end up meeting people online and then catching feelings for them over time like some god damn idiot.

shouting into the void update
things were actually going pretty good like right after i made this thread and we'd been getting super close and feelings were like super reciprocal
but now
she is being super avoidant and ignoring me lots again for like a week
god i hate this. i only ever get strong feelings for the most avoidant fucking people.

>>394 (OP)
used to feel this way for my gf when we were ldr and honestly i dont think i ever want to repeat the process if put in that position again

>>976
how did you stop bein just ldr?

>>975
I'm sorry anon. hang in there and hopefully before long things will be sorted out one way or the other

>>978
thanks.
i hope so.

>>975
hope things get better for u both, but ngl kind of getting incel vibes from this. u arent owed intimacy, maybe she needs space

>>980
huh?? I didn't get that at all. they're allowed to be personally frustrated or upset with the situation, I don't think they were expressing entitlement, they're just venting the emotional turmoil of it

>>980
well incel definitely wouldnt apply here...
maybe "bpd" is the word ur lookin for. but even then i think that would be a little unfair.
wouldnt you be upset if suddenly all affection and sweetness just vanished out of nowhere?
i hope it is just space she needs tho.

>anyone ever find themselves hopelessly pining for someone thousands of miles away over the internet?
yes. like anything else, it was just a delusion. and the pain of it shattering did not outweigh the warmth only by a thin margin and only because it happened during even greater grief, so great that enduring it alone was not possible at all for somebody weak as me. i wouldn't want to repeat that again. the price you pay for enjoying a delusion is too great for me. but with these shallows normalfags around preaching about emotional closeness as if it was goods on the market makes it impossible to talk about the subject even on imageboards. hopefully there are not too many of them here. i can't stand people who discard their feeling and move on as if they never existing, only pretending to care. their trustworthiness is measured by convenience. not as bad as psychopaths, but not good enough to be comfortable around

>>980
>you aren't hecking owed le intimacy
Come on man
>>983
I can relate; obviously it didn't work out

>>983
>i can't stand people who discard their feeling and move on as if they never existing
I'm pretty feminine in the way I can feel sincerely about something one moment and feel nothing about it within another, even when I'm giving away something of myself to someone else out of a feeling of generosity. I wonder if I lack the feeling of attachment-love or if I'm just not very perceptive of my own feelings.
It's painful when men express love to me but I feel nothing in response. I suppose the pain comes from caring about them, but nothing feels real to me.

>their trustworthiness is measured by convenience
For most it's about putting in effort into good investments. If they feel something won't yield more pleasure then they won't see a point in caring, it's purely pragmatic and impersonal. It can be worse than dealing with psychopaths since what's worth investing in isn't inherently logical, since at least psychopaths are more predictable, but it's pleasant in the way that they can feel being a "good person" is worth the effort sometimes. Of course, the closer they happen to align with your own values and needs the more pleasant they can be since you can predict and understand each other more thoroughly and sincerely.

>it was just a delusion
The love you felt was real but it was directed at something impermanent.

No I don't kniow such a feeling

>>988
ur lucky.

I don't know how that feels like and I sometimes hurt my friends by giving out my thoughts on how that looks like to me.

>>1413
most people are very easy to hurt.

>>977
we moved in together ^^;

>>1417
sigh
nice
i would say im happy for you but im mostly only capable of experiencing seething envy im afraid.

>>1418
think about it otherwise. now he has to invest his time into a relationship that is doomed to turn out to be your average family with average problems. he has to maintain efforts to keep it all together, going to a whole lot of troubles to solve issues and then also spending tons of effort to find compromises and so on. and the only reward he gets is a pillow that breathes and can sometimes fuck you. at the same time you are free and can put your time to something enjoyable, and the only price you pay is that jerking off is somewhat less pleasant. pheew. don't be lame. incels mentality is gay

>>1419
i hope this is tongue-in-cheek
>>1418
i understand anon, im a nasty envious person too. i used to go through what you're going through but with another person, and it was like hell on earth. looking back, i think i was in love with the idea of them and i overly idolized them, but the problem still remained and i had a never-ending unrequited love for them that would drive me insane. i eventually just had to accept that i needed to cut them out of my life and i did, for the better. i hope you're able to solve this issue in a better healthier way than i did

>>1419
>at the same time you are free and can put your time to something enjoyable,
this is such a huge red flag that im a fucked up person but. i dont really enjoy much on my own. im not really a full person. i dont want to be free. i'm only happy when someone else makes me feel like im allowed to be happy.
>>1420
>i was in love with the idea of them and i overly idolized them
and yeah this is probably true for me too kinda. ive done it before. for some reason this time it does feel different though. the stakes feel much higher this time. i know its delusional and people always say this but i really think no one could ever compare to her.
>never-ending unrequited love for them
honestly the most frustrating thing is that it wasnt even unrequited (well - it was never 'love' obviously and even i wouldnt be so delusional as to say i actually 'love' her - but the attraction/affection was requited) for a while. She made it actually apparent that she was into me, i never would have even emotionally invested as much as I have if she didn't. She was extremely affectionate and sweet and made me feel just so good. And then one day seemingly overnight it just completely disappeared. And it just feels like she gets more and more distant all the time and theres nothing i can do about it all the while I'm stewing in the worst fucking feelings ever.
sigh. im so fucking stupid i know. i know the advice is just cut them out. just move on. but i cant. i just cant.

>>1422
>this is such a huge red flag that im a fucked up person but. i dont really enjoy much on my own. im not really a full person. i dont want to be free. i'm only happy when someone else makes me feel like im allowed to be happy.
hmm...
I think the weight of being alone and/or unloved can weigh on you, certainly some people more than others, and that can impact your ability to truly enjoy everything else in life. but one should be careful not to misinterpret that and center their entire life around that person, or take it to mean that you're "not really a full person", as you put it.

social interaction, physical touch, validation, belonging - these are all things that are psychological needs for most people. when you go without them for so long, you can lose perspective and start to feel like that's all that matters, instead of just a single (albeit important) aspect.

>>1419
I likewise hope this is tongue-in-cheek (^^;)

she told me pretty much verbatim that she only was ever affectionate and escalated things to entertain herself
she didnt really explain why she stopped though but i guess maybe she just got bored?
i feel like i should be more angry about this but i think its because im really stubborn so i refuse to acknowledge that it could in fact be "le over"
i mean i still feel like shit though
ok blogpost over.